I am Anthony, a 41-year old Grappler/Judoka who began my journey in BJJ (Brazilian Jiujitsu) in November of 2021. Well, that's not entirely true, I actually started taking BJJ seven years ago, but times were different and I could not be consistent with it, let alone anything in my life at the time. I have never really had the chance to settle down in my life until now. Today, I hold a green belt in Judo and a white belt with one stripe in BJJ. I decided to learn BJJ because of its roots in Judo, its practical applications in self-defense after the takedown, and in life. There is also something about exposing myself on the mat. The vulnerability is undeniable. When I walk into the dojo, sure people know me, but when we roll, it's me against myself 100%...or is it? #WrestleTheLord
As a Christian, I search the scriptures to help me deal with the world, or when I am feeling insufficient ...I digress. One scripture that I love is the story of Jacob and when he wrestled with the Lord. Let me give you some context. During this time in Genesis, Jacob was running scared because he had deceived his brother Esau and stole his blessing from their father Issac. Jacob, the deceiver was finally going to have to fight for the blessing he stole from his brother. I believe there comes a point in anyone's life, especially those running scared from their past decisions and mistakes where you will decide to change for the good. This is like Kuzushi in Judo (broken balance) you know, that moment where you have completely lost your balance and you need to posture up or you are going down. This principle is super important on the mat and in life. The Bible teaches us to stand upright in the Lord especially when we are broken, while BJJ teaches us to posture up when our position is compromised. I encourage you to read the text for yourself and I have the scripture all the way at the bottom, for now, let's get into the Word and how it applies to my Jiujitsu.
Genesis 32:23
And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over that he had. And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
Jacob had sent his whole family and all his possession ahead of him and he was left alone. Jacob was finally ready to face the decisions he had made and most importantly he was willing to face them with God, even if he did steal the blessing from his brother, he was a good man! Our decisions don't define us for the rest of our lives. We have heard the modern-day adage "it's a mistake, not a life sentence" You can always come to God no matter how bad you think you are. He will meet you where ever you find yourself. Praise the Lord that He doesn't forsake us in our bad decisions. Just because you think He does, doesn't change the fact by your own free will you are where you are. God loves you, know that. I have been in some pretty dark places spiritually, mentally, and physically enough to know the difference between God's intervention in my life and bad decisions. It wasn't until I was willing to wrestle through them with God as my uke that things started to change in my life.
Jiujitsu is similar in this way for me in that when I step on the mat, I have to be willing to leave everything I know about martial arts, anything that is on my mind that is bothering me, or anything that will stand in the way of the progression of my jiujitsu on the floor once I bow onto the mat. Jacob sent all he had ahead of him and remained alone because he didn't want to have to be distracted by thinking about protecting his family and preserving his possessions from the danger he thought was coming his way. He wanted to be focused on the moment. Quick side notes: This brings up another point, read the text and you will see that Esau was grateful for all he had, and when he finally met up with Jacob he embraced him. All the while Jacob thought he was being hunted by him. The negative self-talk you speak to yourself isn't the truth, it's a lie. Ok, back to BJJ and wrestling the Lord. Once you step on the mat. Prepare to be tested because you will be. You will either be forced to conform to the movements and pressure of your opponent or you will be relentless until your opponent submits.
The person I am rolling with wants to get better just like me, my uke seeks the same perfection of technique. By this definition, I will boldly say, this is where we wrestle with the Lord, so we are going to give it everything we got. The vulnerability comes in the exposure of yourself on the mat and your Jiujitsu against others. You either know the techniques and how to leverage your opponents' movements to gain favor on the mat, or you don't. There is humility in it all. In my defeats or shortcomings, I become more aware of what it is that is holding me back. I usually arrive at the same conclusion almost all of the time when it comes to my Jiujitsu. I am standing in my own way.
Jacob gave it everything he had so much the Lord had to dislocate his hip because he would not stop even as the day was breaking. They wrestled all night! Jacob would not let him go until he had the Lord's blessing.
Genesis 32:26
And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.
The Lord asked him his name to which he replied Jacob and it was then the Lord blessed him and made him into something new. Through wrestling with God, he refined himself and was renamed Israel, meaning God contends or one who struggles with God. He gained favor with the Lord. Jacob actually named the place they fought "Penuel" because he saw God face to face and was saved. Ironically these battles I am speaking of, though I am physically on the mat, they happen mentally in my mind at the place where Jacob wrestled the Lord. The Pineal gland is known as the “Third Eye” because it is proven to be the link to our subconscious mind and to deeper inner realms.
Genesis 32:30
And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.
In conclusion, I have learned that exposing myself on the mat is a great thing! I have to show up and get out there. Even though my jiujitsu sucks now, I am more aware of what I need to change. I can’t just train for a competition and hope that will determine the outcome. After all, it's not brute strength that wins matches or progresses my jiujitsu. Matter of fact if I use strength I will tire fast. My professor says "I am fighting the wrong fight" I think I am starting to understand a little more of what he means by that.
I have to train every day. I have to be more intentional with setting time aside to develop my skillset as I define my jiujitsu throughout the rest of my life. When I can go to a class, I need to go to class. If I can't, I need to practice my jujitsu at home. Keep fighting the good fight! Lastly, no matter what decisions you make, have made, or are planning to make, God loves you so much and will meet you wherever you find yourself now and wrestle it through with you. O Isreal, don’t give up, be as adamant and persistent as Jacob was, and don’t stop until you have your blessing from the Lord and your life be preserved!
Genesis 32:22-30 KJV
"And he rose up that night, and took his two wives, and his two women servants, and his eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok. And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over that he had. And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob’s thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob. And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved."
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